Self-Love Series Part II: Recognizing your own self-love

Now that we have an understanding of what self-love is, it’s time to assess where we stand with our own self-love. In doing so, we begin to recognize where we thrive and where we struggle, so that we are able to begin to create a necessary framework in order to improve and increase our opinion of ourselves. 

Oftentimes in the beginning, self-love is greatly overshadowed by ideals of self-loathing, that manifest as lingering feelings of unworthiness, undeserving, or even fear toward the notions of self compassion.

What does your inner monologue say about your levels of self respect?

How often do you find you this dialogue to be positive? 

That little voice inside our heads is a constant reminder of how we truly feel about ourselves, and the most important component of self love is to make sure the tone of that voice is positive and encouraging - a task only achievable through reflection and acceptance. 

Determining what actions are causing you to struggle to practice self-love -

We have to acknowledge the not-so-great moments where we lack self-love in order to develop it within ourselves. If you are unhappy with something you did and that voice inside your head turns negative, start by reflecting on the situation as a whole.

Are you seeing things objectively? Or are you judging yourself for only being human?

Dig to see if there was a circumstance that influenced your behaviour or outcome, and if it is something that you have control over.

If you did have control over the situation and/or outcome, then commit to learning from this experience, rather than beat yourself up over it.

What lessons can you take from this experience where you feel you are underserving of your own self-love? Those lessons can be turned into actions that will then allow you to enhance your own self-love.

Have you ever done something that you later regret because of the repercussions it has on you, your wellbeing, happiness and/or health? Well, because that happened, you have learned what it was that caused you to move further away from being in a state of self-love.  The most common way to react to a circumstance like this is to get mad at ourselves and punish ourselves for our behaviour or choices. But rather than taking this approach, think of that action or choice as being a really valuable lesson as to what you need to do, or what you can change next time, in order to return to or achieve a state of self-love.  

You deserve to think highly of yourself. You deserve to be proud of your actions and the outcomes they present. You deserve to alter your choices, and take steps right away to move you in a direction you are proud to be going in.