Progress Is Not Linear

Client: Kayla Ireland

There is no better feeling than waking up every morning knowing that I will have enough energy to get through 8 hours of class, 2 or 3 hours of training and whatever else the day throws at me. Every day I get to lift weights and feel awesome, I get to go to school and take in every bit of information possible, I get to enjoy interacting with other people and I get to go to sleep feeling proud and satisfied. I have not always felt this way. In fact, this feeling is very new for me, and I have MTMM to thank for it.

I have existed both ends of the dieting spectrum. I grew up dancing with a heavy focus on ballet and jazz. These are both disciplines that place a great deal of value on a person’s look. Therefore from a young age I was self-conscious about my body and this lead to an unhealthy relationship with food that lasted for 10 years. From when I was 12 until I was 17 I didn’t eat much at all. By the age of 16 I had become so lost in my eating disorder that I couldn’t identify one food that I enjoyed eating. To me, food was not associated with fuel or pleasure. Food was something I avoided at all costs. I continued with this mentality for years and reached a record low weight of 76lbs.

I worked very hard to rebuild myself after years of eating as little as possible. However, this is something that takes years and in the beginning I wasn’t prepared for the work that it would take. I left home to pursue a career in dance when I was 18. I had been doing better with my eating but things shortly spiraled out of control. I became depressed, I quit dancing and I turned to food as an escape. During this dark time sometimes I ate everything I sight, sometimes I binged and purged, and often I didn’t leave my bed. At the same time I was struggling with some medical issues and I went from 110lbs to 140lbs in 3 months. After that I went through periods of restricting and binging for months.

After sorting out my medical issues I found love for exercise again and shortly after that I found weightlifting and MTMM. When I first started weightlifting I was delighted with my new weight loss and I was sitting around 105lbs. I was still too light for my frame and it was limiting my energy and my strength. With the Help of Katrina at MTMM we slowly added more and more calories in to my life and brought my body weight up to a healthy spot. This has been the most positive change I have ever made. I have never enjoyed eating, until now. I have never felt good, until now. I didn’t know that I would ever be able to develop a healthy relationship with food again. Katrina provides a safe place for me to express my past issues with food, she understands them and she works with them in a way that prioritizes my health. For the first time in 10 years I’m not tired, I’m not angry and I’m not deficient in any nutrients and I have Katrina and MTMM to thank for that. Of course I have improved as weightlifter since dialing in my nutrition, but most importantly my quality of life has improved. For that I will be forever grateful.